we're blogging at a bar
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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