Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
