Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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