i permit you to call me
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
