All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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