I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
