I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Please don't give away my fajitas
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
