Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
