I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
