My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
