I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
