Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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