I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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