yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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