Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
