so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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