I could have mohawked her pubes.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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