With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There's always time for handjobs
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
