I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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