Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
