HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
