maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
