Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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