I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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