I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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