Jerry, you need to find god
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize