Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize