I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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