So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
