i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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