But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
