i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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