I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
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the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
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I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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