How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
