why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
