So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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