Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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