I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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