Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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