it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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