i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
