Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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