Hey man sorry I got all grabby
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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