Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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