That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize