Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
