I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
