Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize