Where are you?
In a non slutty way
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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