Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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