How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Randomize
