My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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