I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
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Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
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I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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