This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
wow bdsm is so cute
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
