We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
