I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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