'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
