No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
