were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
