okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I forget how to act sober
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
