Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize