You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
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If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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