You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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