didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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