Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
