are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize