There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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